Temporary I.D.

Insert Witty Title Here

2009-01-03T11:12:00.001+02:00

I was originally supposed to be in Egypt for 6 weeks. That was in July. It isn't August, so the schedule has slipped a little. Well, the schedule has slipped a lot...and then it slipped some more. When I first arrived to Egypt everyone asked me about Bush and Iraq...then a few weeks went by and all anybody wanted to ask me about was Obama...and then a few more weeks went by and I got to celebrate Obama's victory (there wasn't a person at work that didn't congratulate me the next day)...and then it was Thanksgiving, and then Christmas, and then New Years...and Ramadan was thrown in there too. That is a lot of stuff to happen in what was supposed to be a short assignment.

The neighborhood has gotten a little rowdy in the last week, but I don't expect it to escalate to where it will be an issue in Alex. The major cities in the middle east have been having some protests, but Alex has managed to avoid everything so far. When your neighbors are Israel, the Gaza Strip, Libya, and Sudan you have to expect things to get bumpy once in a while. Reading about all the issues in the local English language newspaper definitely gives me a different "perspective" on how people see the issues of the day. I think this is where Fox News got its idea of "Fair and Balanced" from.

Since I have been here I have managed to take a few trips. In Thailand I was on shift and had a 7 days on, 3.5 days off work schedule, so I was able to get out of Pattaya quite a bit. I am one of the chiefs here in Alex and am working a regular 8-5, so the bigger trips are much harder to get time to do. Time off is not an option while on assignment, so I have been limited to trips that I can do in a weekend. Fortunately, there are a few sights that are weekend-able from Alex.

I haven't been good at keeping up with this blog, but I have been decent at posting pictures from any trips I take (as long as I take pictures of course). The main trips have been to Cairo a few times (pics), Sharm El Sheikh (beach resort on the Sinai), the pyramids in Giza and Saqqara (pics), and an oasis in Siwa (pics).

I think for this "back to posting" post I will just put up some pictures with some comments. There are quite a few pictures, so I hope you all have much better internet connections than I have here.

Hopefully you recognize these as the pyramids of Giza. A guidebook I saw had a quote from a local Egyptian about them which I think sums them up perfectly. "Very big. Very old." I was lucky enough to go during Ramadan, so it wasn't the tourist hell hole that some will describe. Because of the relative non-busy time we went we managed to get one of the few tickets to actually go inside the Great Pyramid. I channeled my inner Indiana Jones and climbed up the big tunnel and into the main chamber. I realized I was out of shape when all I wanted to see in the main chamber was someone selling water.

For those of you that haven't seen me in a while (i.e. everybody) this is me. I was even rocking my Spartans shirt to support the only Big Ten school in the state that made it to a bowl game. SNAP!

This is an Egyptian police officer on a camel. It is funny until you see the cop cars here. The camel would definitely outrun the best police car in the country. Side note, I didn't know how to drive a stick shift when I came to Egypt. All the rental cars in Egypt are stick shifts. Sticking to my overall motto of "I'll figure it out" I drove a stick in traffic for the first time in Cairo and Giza. I didn't even die. Sink or swim baby, sink or swim.

This is me with the Sphinx and one of the pyramids. The Sphinx is the Tom Cruise of global icons. You hear so much about it but in person all you can think about is how small it is. On the plus side, I don't think the Sphinx has lost its mind and joined a cult, so it has that going for it.

About 20 kilometers south of Giza is Saqqara (wiki). Saqqara is the home of the first pyramid. Unfortunately there are no maps in Egypt (that we could find at least). There are also no maps online of Egypt. There are also no directions online to find how to get from Giza to Saqqara. The week before I made the trip I saw a segment on CNN International on how tunnel diggers in Gaza were using Google Earth to tunnel under the border with Egypt and under houses so they could smuggle supplies into Gaza. I figured that if some teenagers could be so accurate with Google Earth to tunnel to a specific house, I could use it to figure out how to get to Saqqara. I greatly underestimated the skill of those tunnelers. It took us around 3 hours to find it...and it is a big ass pyramid that you can see from Giza. We knew we were a little lost when there were more donkeys on the road then cars...then we knew we were extremely lost when we were the only car on a flippin donkey super highway. The picture above is from the trip back from Saqqara on the road we should have taken. Date trees as far as you could see.

The two pictures above are from Khan el-Khalili, a big market in Cairo that winds though some back alleys. Lots of people, lots of pushy merchants, and very Egyptian. There is a big mosque in the background of the first pic.

Cairo and the Nile at night from the roof of our hotel.

Paul, me, and Tomi in Siwa. Paul is British, so I make fun of him for saying bollocks and other ridiculous British things. Tomi is from Nigeria, so we make fun of credit card scams. I am from America, so they make fun of me for Bush. Luckily they won't be able to use that one for much longer. From the mass of palm trees in the background you can tell this is the oasis. The people that discovered this place must have been very very happy...and very very thirsty.

This sums up Egypt quite well. We skipped this "Nice Tour".

Me and Tomi in the middle of the desert.

Egypt has lots of sand. Who knew?

Finally, a picture of me taking all of these pictures. I bought a DSLR before I went to Thailand and it is the 'bees knees' as an unnamed friend would say.

That is all for now. I promised Aunt Mary Ann that I would post, and I have fulfilled my commitment. My mom actually suggested asking if anybody had any questions about life here in Egypt (or Thailand or the Philippines for that matter) and I will be happy to answer any (well..some) questions if you ask in the comments. Of course, this is assuming anybody besides my mom actually looks at this thing.

Alex in a Second

2008-08-12T23:40:00.004+03:00

I have been in Alexandria for over two weeks already, and it has been a good time...and besides having fun, about the only thing that is similar to Thailand is a great group of people to hang out with. Work has been extremely busy, there aren't many places to drink, and I didn't see many headscarves in Pattaya. The bulk of the women here wear more around their head than the women in Pattaya wore over their whole body.

Being in a Muslim country is definitely a change. I think most people that come though the Middle East expect the cultural differences, but you can't fully prepare yourself for the feeling of being right in the middle of it....especially if you work and live there for a while. It has actually given me a claustrophobic feeling at times, which is pretty tough. I guess it is just my very liberal self getting used to being in a very conservative culture. I have learned to get used to looking different from everybody around me over the last year, but I never had to deal with being so socially different as well. It will come, but it might be a little time still.

These pictures are from a few nights ago when I decided to do some exploring on the main drag of Alex. It is right on the Med and an interesting place to hang out for a few hours. It turns out that although Alexandria was once of the most important cities in the world, it is now a dusty shell of its former self. It is still big, and there are still a ton of people here, but the antiquities have pretty much been sacked through centuries of war, fallen into the Med, or been covered by urban sprawl.

Part of doing pretty much zero research into Alex before I came (partially because we get almost no lead time) resulted in me showing up in a city that I wasn't expecting and being a little bit disappointed at first. It has grown on me, though, and the main reason I am traveling is to have experiences like this. It won't be constant bars and islands like Thailand, or constant bars and basketball like the Philippines, or constant bars and BBQ like Houston...though I really like all of those things. It will be a totally new experience, and I am looking forward to seeing how it will unfold...but I'm sure a bar or two will still be thrown in.

Cue the Bangles

2008-07-24T03:19:00.005+03:00

Picture and adventure update:

It has been a while since I have posted (if every post starts saying that it isn't a good thing), and a decent amount has happened since then. I had some fun in Thailand, finished the job and went back to Chicago, had some fun in the States, and am currently sitting in the Royal Jordanian Business Lounge in Amman killing time on my layover from Chicago to Amman to Alexandria, Egypt. That’s right, my next job is in the land of pyramids and ancient pits filled with ruins and cobras (at least that is what I learned from Raiders of the Lost Arc). I am excited to see as much as I can, and hopefully that whole work thing doesn't get in the way too often. I was back in Chicago for about three weeks...and summer in Chicago is one heck of a time to be back. North Ave beach, beach volleyball, BBQs, beautiful weather, and not a hooker in sight. My favorite part, though, is that I was able to see my new niece Zoe. She is a cute little red head and definitely a lot better looking baby than Kristin was....and maybe even me, but I don't know if I want to let Kristin know that. (Zoe Pics).

I had a lot of fun in Thailand the last few weeks I was there. The three main highlights were a trip to Bangkok, a quick trip to Ko Tao to meet up with my cousin Amanda who was traveling through Thailand for a few weeks, and my last night in Thailand where we had a solid end of assignment blowout. Luckily there were pictures taken at all three of those events, so I can share some memories and refresh myself on some of the more 'fuzzy' happenings of the nights.

First, Bangkok....Bangkok was a good time, but I was there in full out tourist mode...walking around with my camera, visiting temples, boating though some canals, and generally sweating my ass off because you have to wear long pants to go into the religious sites. Bangkok is hot, and Bangkok in jeans is amazingly hot. I actually considered buying some of those Euro Man-pris like Rafael Nadal, but I didn't give in...but if the temperature would have broke triple digits I think I might have broke. I wouldn't have been able to be in any pictures if I did, though, because posting pictures in Man-pris is something that I would end up regretting big time. Overall the trip was fun, but after a couple days of temples I was pretty much finished (again, being soaked in sweat didn't help). It was very interesting to see the major spots, though, and I was able to take some decent pictures. (Bangkok Pics)

A week or two after Bangkok, I met up with my cousin Amanda on an amazing island called Ko Tao. She was traveling through Cambodia and Thailand for a few weeks after she ended one job and before her next job started (an excellent choice for the downtime, I must say). Her friend Haley came along for a couple weeks of her trip, and one of my offs lined up with the time they were on Ko Tao. I found out they were in Thailand on a Monday, and flew out to meet them on a beautiful Thai island on a Thursday....what a rough life.

I don't have time now to get into the stories of the few days, but I had an absolutely awesome time, and Ko Tao reached #1 on my Thai island list. The combination of its small size, great hotel, and very young and fun crowd was a jackpot on all levels. I will forever be in debt to Amanda for getting me out there. (Ko Tao Pics)

Finally, my last night in Pattaya was a very fun, very late, and very blurry night. Long stories short, we had a lot of people go out, Terry bought some ridiculous hats, I got half strangled by two large snakes, I ate a frog, cricket, and scorpion, and I didn't go to bed until I was on the plane home.

It was a great way to leave a very, very good assignment with a lot of very, very fun people. The place and the people will be missed. (Last Night in Pattaya Pics)

Well, my business lounge time is about up....I need to jump on my plane to Egypt. I wrote this in a big hurry, so I'm sure there will be some editing mistakes that I will try to clean up later. My next post will be from Alexandria, Egypt

Let's go, Thundercats!

2008-05-18T05:37:00.006+03:00

It has been a while since I have posted (like usual). I have no excuses, but its my blog, so I don't need one. Since my last post I have done some more exploring...some involving pictures and some not. I will probably do a few posts in the next few days to catch up on the travels.

A few weeks ago I went to the Sri Racha Tiger Zoo, in Sri Racha (pictures). Sri Racha is about 30 minutes north of Pattaya, and is actually the city I work in. It was one of my off days, so Milka (UOP friend with the same shift schedule) and I decided to check it out. The place is a bengal tiger zoo (over 400), an elephant zoo (probably a dozen or so), and an alligator farm (over 100,000). There were the usual zoo type enclosures with the typical SE Asian random flair, like having the baby tigers suckle from a monstrous pig, and having enclosures where tigers, dogs, and pigs all live together in (forced) harmony. I got the chance to hold a baby tiger (for 50 baht, of course), and overall the living conditions looked pretty solid for all of the tigers.
While there we saw a tiger show, elephant show, and alligator show. They were all pretty standard with tigers jumping through hoops and crazy trainers putting their heads in the alligators gaping mouthes. One of the tour group asked our guide if anybody had ever died during the shows, and she was proud to say that the worst accidents were just when a trainer gets an arm or something chomped on my an alligator but they were proud that no one had ever died. I guess OSHA hasn't quite made their way into the tiger and alligator show realm yet.

I was actually having a decent time scaring a group of crazy inked up Brits by telling them about the San Francisco Zoo incident a few months back where the tiger jumped the fence and started chomping on the people with the questionable idea of taunting a 300 pound carnivore. At the time of the story, the tigers around us were in big enclosures and most of them had caged roofs....then we got to the tiger show. The tiger show was in a sort of pavilion with a ring in the middle with a chain link fence. The fence, however, was about 8'-10' tall. Next to the fence were a bunch of stools for the tigers to stand on and look cool. These stools were at least 2' tall. As you can imagine, the tigers could have jumped that fence without even noticing it was there. Later, the proof of their leaping abilities was proven, as they had to get up on a 6' stand to jump through some flaming hoops. There were a couple stands leading up to the tallest stand, but I guess it took too much work to go that route, so most of the tigers nonchalantly hopped up to the 6' stand with the same amount of effort it takes for me to get out of a chair (which can be quite significant at times, but no where near the edge of ability). At this point I just hoped that the tigers had an all-you-can-eat buffet before the show...because there sure as hell was one right over the fence. But as the old saying goes, you don't have to be the fastest person in the room, just don't be the slowest...and I was knew I could outrun the old lady in front of me any day.
Long story short I didn't get eaten. Bouns.

Tremendous Upside Potential

2008-04-17T16:19:00.007+02:00

There are some major downsides to this job and lifestyle. Above all, it can be really hard to be away from friends and family for 330 days a year. Dating gets much much much more complicated. You can get stuck in Saudi for 6 months where you can't find a drink and your criteria for seeing a hot chick is if she is wearing especially attractive eye-liner. You can get stuck in Siberia for 6 months during the winter where you need vodka in your cheerios to get the courage to walk outside to go to work. You can get stuck in a country where nobody speaks English and realize that your only social interactions will be with chemical engineers until your next assignment.

On the otherside, the job has what Jay Bilas would call 'tremendous upside potential'. It is the 7'6" Asian dude of jobs. It is the straight out of high school, can jump over the basket but can't shoot a free throw of careers moves. Sometimes it is a bust, but when it hits, it really hits. Last weekend was a Dwight Howard.

I work a shift schedule, and this schedule allows us to get 4 days off in a row every few weeks. This gives the advisors enough time to do little trips on their long-offs and explore the area. Over the weekend I had a long-off and even flopped a shift to make it a day longer. No work for 5 days is a great way to start a weekend. My main goal for the days off was to take advantage of Thailand's amazing diving. So, I looked around, found a liveaboard that fit into my schedule, got a plane ticket and a hotel, and was ready to roll. I was especially proud that I did this all three days in advance instead of my customary night before...and people tell me that I don't plan things ahead of time.

A liveaboard is a diving boat that you stay/sleep on for the duration of your trip. The one I booked was only 2 days and 2 nights, but most people do 4-6 nights, and you can even do two or three week trips. The boat goes from dive site to dive site during the night, so you can dive right when you get up and you usually get in 4 dives a day. That is a lot of diving. My diving trip was amazing, but I don't have the underwater pictures that some of the others in the group took, so I won't make a post about it yet. I did take my camera, however, so I did post the pictures I took from the boat (link).

The departure and return spot for my diving trip was Phuket, Thailand (link). So, since I was departing from and returning to a beautiful island, I figured I would spend my other two days there. Like they say, when life gives you tasty tasty peaches, make peachaid. I returned to Phuket from the diving trip in the middle of the Songkran festival (Thai New Year) and had a ridiculous trip to my hotel (link). Long story short, Thais celebrate Songkran by holding the worlds biggest water fight, with every person in the country attacking each other with the latest and greatest water propulsion devices (or just bucket upon buckets of ice cold water). Water is being thrown from stores, from the bed of trucks, from windows, and of course every person walking around. Pattaya (where I live) is known for Songkran lasting over a week, and it is centered around this coming weekend, so I will save my Songkran stories for yet another post.

My first day in Phuket I hung out at the beach all day, got a two hour massage for under $20, and ate some excellent Thai food that almost make my face melt. Nice, but not to many interesting pictures. My second day I went on a highly recommended afternoon/evening sea canoe trip through some of the local islands. Very very nice, and much more interesting pictures.

This sea canoe trip consisted of being picked up at my hotel, going to a large boat, going to the islands, and then exploring the islands on 4 separate sea canoe outings. Most of the canoes have two people and a guide, but since I was by myself I lucked out and it was just me and my guide. The trip was very nature/peaceful oriented, and was a big reason why it was so highly recommended. Many places do sea canoes, but they are usually during the day and filled with loud annoying little kids and westerners yelling and trying to flip each other over. The advantage of going on a sea canoe trip that sells itself on a peaceful nature centered trip is that it attracts the right kind of people.

We went to two islands, and both of the islands have lagoons in the middle of the islands that are only accessible through caves. These caves are pretty well hidden and the entrances get covered during high tides, so the lagoons were undisturbed and beautiful. My guide was great and even managed to have us be the last canoe in the lagoons 3 out of the 4 times. Being in a lagoon only accessible by a cave in a remote island in Thailand is pretty cool...but being the only canoe in the lagoon for a few minutes is even better.

The last outing is after sunset. We went to another island lagoon and lit and floated 'Kratongs' that we made on board. A kratong is made out of a slice of a banana trunk and banana leaves and has candles and flowers attached. The floating of a Kratong is supposed to honor the Buddahst Goddess of Water and symbolize letting go of old grudges and starting a new. Floating in the silence of the lagoon with twenty some Kratongs bobbing in the candle light was very peaceful and an excellent way to end the trip.

One of these days I am going to have a Darko Milicic assignment...but until then I am just going to smile.

I have posted three albums from the trip.

Pictures from Patong beach in Phuket (link)
Pictures from the dive boat during the diving trip (link)
Pictures from the sea canoe trip to Phanak and Hong Islands (link)

Photo Update

2008-04-05T23:29:00.004+02:00

For those of you that don't know/don't remember/don't really care, I have left the Philippines and have moved to the wonderful(ly crazy) city of Pattaya in Thailand. A quick Wikipedia look will give you the general details of the place (link). Yes, it is skeezy. Yes, it can be hard to not want to run around punching dirty old men in the face. But it is also probably the oddest place I have been in my life...and that is good enough for me at the time being.

I just posted a set of pictures I took in Pattaya. Some are from one of the first days during the day and then there is a big chunk from one night where I took my camera to Walking Street (the main crazy drag), grabbed a chair overlooking the street at a beer bar, shooed away the hookers, and took candid pictures of people walking by. I think I took about 300 pictures by the end and I just posted a pretty random selection from them. If I feel like it, I might make the candid Walking Street pictures a regular thing and see what comes of it. Either way I get to sit back, drink some beer, and watch the parade of crazy.

Link to the new pictures

I'll write about the city and Walking Street later, but I think the pictures and captions give a decent taste as it is. The captions may sound a little sarcastic...but I am pretty sarcastic...and I wrote them at 4:30 am on a break during a 12hour night shift. You would sound a little odd too.

Bang Bang

2008-04-03T12:43:00.006+02:00

I am in Thailand now. However, I don't have many pictures from Thailand yet. I have been pretty busy with work and getting sunburned and generally spending time in one of the oddest places on earth. I will get into these details later, and work should be slowing (a little) so I will actually be posting stuff again. I also have a new camera, so hopefully I can throw up some good pictures to go along with them.

I do have some pictures from my last weekend in the Philippines, though, so I will make this my last Philippines post (even though I have been out of there for a couple of weeks).

So, a couple of days before my last weekend in Balanga, Natalie told me that she was planning on going to shoot 'airsoft' on Sunday. She had done it once a few weeks before, and the airsoft guys were bugging her to play again. She invited me to come along, and I naturally accepted a chance to shoot at Natalie (and other random people) in the jungle. Unfortunately, work got busy and Natalie couldn't play on Sunday, but that wasn't going to stop me from playing Rambo with bb-guns. Natalie gave me her contact's number, I texted him, he said come along anyway, and it was all set.

For those of you there don't know, airsoft (link) is very simmilar to paintball....but instead of shooting balls filled with paint, they shoot BBs. Fortunately they are not metal BBs. Unfortunatley, they are hard plastic BBs, that feel exactly like metal ones. The guns are not like regular BB guns, unless your BB gun as a child is fully automatic and looks exactly like a M16 or MP5. The goal is to shoot the other team, and when you get hit you throw your arms up and yell hit. They called it 'gentlemen's paintball' since you can't tell if you hit someone....but when you are getting shot with an automatic BB gun shooting 400 FPS, I don't think it takes being a gentlemen to yell for them to stop shooting you.

Rolling into the airsoft site was a little unsettling. To start, these guys take airsoft seriously. Very seriously. They are almost all completely decked out in full military gear (all 60 of them), and part of the airsoft culture is having the guns be exact replicas of the real thing. So, pulling into the site it looked like I stumbled across the Filipino Peoples Liberation Army.

(Some of the guys getting ready)

The site was an old resort on the water that had gone out of business about 10 years ago and was abandoned, so we had the water on one site, dilapidated buildings in the middle, a empty pool next to that, and the rest surrounded by jungle.

(Me right before the start of a match)

I showed up and the first question, naturally, was "Where is Natalie". I guess word had gotten around that she was going to play again, but the news didn't pass quite as fast that I was the one coming. So, instead if a small attractive Russian girl stepping out of the car, they got a 6'3", long haired, bearded dude. Major downgrade. Natalie had also told me that they would have full gear and clothes and everything I needed to play. She was partially correct. What she meant was that they would have full gear and clothes and everything a Filipino (or someone sized like a Filipino) would need to play. They did have a long sleeve camo shirt that covered at least part of my arms....and I passed on the camo pants they wanted me to try on. I don't think capris are a good look on me. Of course I had eye protection, and a guy gave me a green towel to wrap around my face and neck so that the BBs wouldn't break the skin. What a nice guy.

(They actually had clothes to that fit Natalie)

It then came time to find me a gun. Lots of the guys have multiple guns, so they could have given an number of quality airsoft weapons. While getting my gun around I mentioned that I was from Chicago....and the guy I was with got very excited. He ran to his car, grabbed a case, and pulled out a Tommy Gun. Unfortunately, I think the airsoft Tommy Gun was manufactured around the same time as the real Tommy Gun, and was not lucky enough to include the many advances in airsoft technology that all of the other guns had....like shooting fast and hard. I should have said I was from Russia and gotten the AK-47.

The idea of the game was to divide the teams into two squads, and the team with the most people left after 20 minutes wins. They split the teams into 30 on 30....and I noticed that it looked like the heavily decked out guys were all on the other team. It turns out that a big tournament was coming up so they wanted all the tournament team members on the same team to practice. In summary, I have never played airsoft before, I am twice the size of the average Filipino, I am wearing blue jeans and tennis shoes, I am using an ancient airsoft gun, and am playing against a tournament airsoft team that plays at least twice a week.

(End of the day)

Basically, that is the just of it. Once I started playing I got shot a lot, didn't shoot many people, but played for 5 hours and had a blast. Everyone was amazingly nice...they still asked about Natalie every 5 minutes, but I can take that if it lets me enjoy a full day in the Filipino jungle shooting at people with BBs.

I'm going to need to talk to the chef

2008-03-04T02:51:00.006+02:00

The number of unintentionally hilarious signs, t-shirts, and car murals here is through the roof. (I have to believe that some are meant to be ironic, but who knows) Unfortunately, I am usually not carrying my camera to commemorate the event. It did, however, remind me of a restaurant I ate at outside of Zion National Park, Utah.

I really hope she washed her hands first.

Long Time No

2008-02-28T15:46:00.007+02:00

I haven't posted in a while...I know. I was going to blame it on being busy, but I haven't been any busier than in the past. I was going to blame it on being lazy, but I have always been pretty lazy, so that hasn't changed. In actuality, I think I haven't posted in a while because I am pretty much at home here in the Philippines. I have an idea what I am going to do during the week (basketball on Tuesdays and Thursdays, pool hall two or three of the other weeknights, and an attempted road trip on the weekend), I pretty much know all of the serviceable restaurants close to me, and I am going to be leaving soon enough to limit my motivation on meeting a bunch of new people. It's not a rut necessarily, but it is at least a routine...and I have never been big on routines. It can actually be kind of nice to be settled in, but anybody that chooses to be a professional vagabond like myself has the (un)healthy need for constant change. You can't just enjoy change to do this job, you have to need it.

I think this routine business is the reason that most people don't have blogs, and why I was a little hesitant to start one myself. Basically, I find blogging about my daily routine (the non-exciting parts) a little self-indulgent. I find myself wondering why anybody would care about a bar story, when they have so many bar stories themselves. The first 'hooker chasing you down the street in the Philippines at 3am' story is interesting, but by the third time it gets a little boring. At least if the hooker was 300 pounds or had one leg or an eye-patch or something I could make it sound new, but I guess those ones were already busy. (Though Natalie did see a no-legged trike driver the other day. We spent a while trying to figure out how he kick started the damn thing.)

But, then I get a friendly note asking me for some more posts, and it reminds me that it isn't necessarily the exciting stuff that people care about, but just the knowledge that I am alive and haven't had an accident bad enough to limit either my typing skills or mental capacity to punctuate a sentence. It is the ability to feel close even though I am literally half way around the world from most of my friends and family. At the very least I know my mom and dad will read it several times (they must be getting REALLY bored in retirement). I will also add a few random pictures to prove that I haven't shaved my head or been scalded by high pressure steam at the refinery.

(Me, Javier, and Tom)

So, what has happened in the last 2-3 weeks? Well, I got an email a couple of weeks ago letting me know about my next assignment. The current plan is for me to go to Thailand for a month or two around the end of March. When I got the email is said the first of March, but like all things with my job, I waited 6 hours and it changed. I will be living in Pattaya, a city about an hour south of Bangkok. I have some friends on assignments around there, so it should be a very solid time. On an interesting note, Pattaya is one of the tranny/hooker/tranny hooker capitals of the world (if not THE capital), so I am jumping from the proverbial frying pan into the fire. The Philippines is the JV squad to Thailand's Varsity. Thank God Tom and I have been playing 'ugly chick or tranny' for the last three months, because I am about to parachute into the proving grounds. Here in the Philippines all of the trannys look like either a linebacker or Amy Winehouse. As the '40 Year Old Virgin' put it so well, their hands are the size of Andre the Giants...and their adams apples are the size of their balls. Unfortunately for unsuspecting guys, the trannys in Pattaya have had a LOT more work done than just bad makeup and toilet paper in their bras (I have to assume the toilet paper goes someplace, because it sure as hell isn't in the bathrooms). Just look up some pictures...I assume googling “Thai Tranny” will get the job done, but I'm not going to try, and I wouldn't recommend it at work.

(Me and our friend from work, Princess)

To continue, Tom got an email last Thursday telling him that he got a new assignment, so he is already back in Chicago enjoying the wonderful Chicago weather. It was a quick notice departure, but like a band-aid, I'm sure it was better for him to leave right away then to give him a chance to sulk over having to leave my witty and amazingly fun self. On the downside, I have been making inside jokes to myself and random people for the last few days, so people might start to think I am going crazy. Walking around saying 'moley moley moley' and 'cool beans' to strangers is not a good way to make new friends. I've even tried having a farting contest with Anshul in the office to no avail. I guess his sense of humor is not quite as refined as mine. Little things like 'professionalism' and 'being an adult' seem to get in the way. I think he is starting to break, though.

(Note to self: Use the bathroom at the hotel before going to the pool hall)

That's enough to prove I am still alive for now. Oh, and I haven't gotten a haircut since I have been here...and I haven't shaved my face for probably a month and a half. I guess I was fitting in too much and wanted to do something to differentiate myself. I'll try to do some exciting stuff soon.

Bad Engineering

2008-02-11T09:21:00.000+02:00

Engineering test of the day.....find the design flaw in the bathroom stall at work (see below...it might help to click on it to see a bigger view).

If you noticed that there is a water sprayer sitting next to the toilet, you get 1 point.
If you noticed that the water sprayer is activated by applying pressure to the handle you get 2 points.
If you noticed that the water sprayer is directed at the toilet user you get 2 points.
If you noticed that the water sprayer is on the same side as the toilet handle you get 3 points.
If you noticed that if you reach back to flush the toilet mid bathroom experience so that your stinky doo doesn't smell up the bathroom that you will most likely hit the water sprayer, compress the handle, and spray your side with water while at work you get 8 points and ace the test...and am smarter than I.

Unfortunately I am a chemical engineer and not a mechanical engineer. So, I didn't realize this design flaw until my side was covered in water. I could, however, calculate the heat capacity of the water based in its rate of cooling. Also, unfortunately I don't learn from all of my mistakes, so this error was repeated twice. Fortunately, Tom made the same mistake as well so he can't give me crap about it.

I have now changed to a different stall.

Hundred Islands

2008-02-05T08:48:00.000+02:00

A couple of weekends ago we were in Subic when a Filipino friend asked us if we had been to Hundred Islands. Well, neither of us had heard of it, but with a name like Hundred Islands you can't miss. So, the next chance we got (last weekend) we made the trip.

Hundred Islands is in the northern part of Luzon outside of Alaminos City, Pangasinan (link1 link2) . It is, as you can imagine, a bunch of islands. There are actually 124 islands, but 'Hundred Islands' sounds a little better than 'Hundred Twenty Four Islands' on the signs, and it would make the souvenir t-shirts use 95% more ink...never underestimate the pull of souvenir sales people on the local politics.

Our loyal and always fun driver Joel picked us up early Saturday morning, and we slept most of the way. After a bit we connected the IPod to the car radio and after Joel's request for some Michael Jackson we were treated to his Thriller dance while driving through Philippines farmland. Unfortunately, the thriller dance does not allow you to use the steering wheel, but the risk was well worth the entertainment (see below). The drive was mostly rural with a few small towns scattered along the way (and by town I mean there were small shanty homes next to the road for a few hundred meters).

The drive was actually shorter than we were expecting (around 5 hours), thanks to Joel's need to take a leak every 30 minutes no matter where we are. We can be cruising along, he will slam on the brakes, say "Jingle" while rubbing his stomach, get behind the van, and pee on the side of the road. If we are by a gas station he will pull in there, and usually ends up talking to one of the attendants for a couple minutes. Luckily, gas station attendants are universal cartographers, so Joel was informed of several shortcuts along the way...and since we got there faster than we thought they must have been good ones.

We got to Alaminos City, followed the signs, rented an outrigger for the day, Tom rented some snorkeling gear (I brought mine with me), and we were on our way. The boat driver didn't speak great English, but in a setting like that all you need to do is be able to point and say "Go there". We started out on Governor's Island which has a path to the top and and the best panoramic view of the area. I took a few pictures, but like usual, pictures can't do a view like that justice.We boated between the islands a bit after that and then were taken to one with a cave that is partially open to the outside water as well as accessible from above. He said people swim in it, so we got off the boat, followed a path through the island, and went down into the cave...and not just any cave...a bat cave. As we walked up to the cave it sounded like it was full of squeaking mice. There weren't any mice, but bats are pretty dang close. No big deal, though, since growing up in a old farmhouse in Michigan got me used to bats at a pretty young age. We jumped in, swam for a bit, and then the boat driver took us to the best snorkeling spot in the area.
The snorkeling was good, and was highlighted by the giant clams in the area. Giant clams are listed as vulnerable (not quite endangered) and the Hundred Islands is doing a great job in helping them get back off that list(link). They transplanted a bunch of them someplace off limits to divers and snorkelers, but there is also a spot where a bunch of them still live. Underwater they are amazing, and have bright purple lips with fish swimming all around.

We did some more island hopping, explored another cave, and then called it a day. We stayed in a town about 30 minutes away, my right foot got attacked by fire ants twice (it will be the last time I use honey as sun screen), played with a monkey, and headed back the next day. Not a bad little day trip.

New Pictures (link)

Garbage Bay

2008-01-29T04:55:00.000+02:00

Two quick stories....

First, after Tom and I enjoyed our Corregidor trip a couple of weekends ago, some of the other crew members decided that they would go last weekend. They got an outrigger like we did, enjoyed the day on the island, and then started home. However, Manila Bay wasn't in a good mood on their trip, and they were met with waves a few feet high while riding on a rickety outrigger...and a couple of the guys can't swim. About halfway across they hit an exceptionally high wave, and one of the guys flew out of the boat...not only a guy, but a 65 year old guy...a frail 65 year old Indian guy. They threw him a rope, pulled him in, and he shook it off like it was no big deal. I bought him a pair of water wings for his next trip.

Next story...
Corregidor has a little cove that is used to dock the outriggers from Bataan and the big ferry boat from Manila. There is a big dock for the big boat, and a couple of small, barely standing docks for the outriggers. As we approached the small docks in the cove, the water up ahead looked a little odd. You could see some colors, but they were swelling with the water, so it couldn't be coral under the water...and making a dock above coral wouldn't be the smartest thing ever. As we got even closer the cause of the color started to become clear.....garbage. Not just bits of garbage here and there, but a solid thick layer of floating garbage.

My first thought was, 'there is no way I am getting out of the boat to wade through this crap to get to the dock'. My second thought was, 'if I get out of the boat I think I could walk on this'.
I did not need to test this hypothesis, since one of the boat guys jumped out, waded through the mess, and pulled the boat up to the dock. I felt sorry for him, but not sorry enough to do it myself.

I guess the whole 'Jesus walked on water' thing would be much less impressive if he did it in Garbage Bay.

Corregidor

2008-01-21T04:18:00.000+02:00

I have never been a history buff. I didn't mind history class, but memorizing dates of battles never seemed to catch my attention. Some people watch the history channel...I watch Myth Busters and Survivor Man. I really enjoy current events, foreign policy/world events over the last 50 years, and politics, but I guess I could never get into Civil War, WWI, or WWII stuff. Being in Bataan, however, has really given me the opportunity to learn some of that WWII stuff that I should remember from 9th grade.

On Sunday Tom and I went to Corregidor, a small but important island that sits at the mouth of Manila Bay (link). To get there you can take a nice big enclosed hydro-jet ferry from Manila...or you can come from the Bataan side and take a rickety outrigger driven by someone you have never met though the shark infested waters...like that is even a choice. We took the outrigger of course. I was a little worried when I climbed on the boat and the driver told me not to step in a spot because I would break through, but if it is good enough for them, it is good enough for me.

I'm not going to go into the history of Corregidor, mainly because I learned it all from Wikipedia and the net, so I might as well just link to it (like I did above...here is the entry on the fall link and an entry on the recapture link). The long and short of it is that it is a beautiful island, there are lots of really really big guns, and lots of half destroyed barracks.

One of the nicest things about the trip was that since it is the middle of the winter there were hardly any tourists running around...except for a big tour group from Japan. Maybe it is just me, but I still find it odd that 90% of the tourists on the island were Japanese, the only tours offered were in English and Japanese, and that there is a Japanese memorial garden on the island. I admire the Filipinos' forgiveness, but you aren't going to see advertised German tours though Poland with a German memorial garden 10 miles from Auschwitz. My commute to work is pretty much the same path as the Bataan Death March for God's sake. I definitely don't hold a grudge against the Japanese today, but I still found it odd that the Filipinos are so accommodating. I guess the Japanese tourists have money...and forgiveness is a lot easier if it helps feed the family.

Walking around the island it was hard not to feel the power of nature. We were standing on one of the most heavily bombed and shelled areas in the world, and besides the collapsed buildings you would never know that a single shot had been fired. Jungle regrew, craters filled in, and nature took back its island. The biggest war in the history of man was just a blip of fire in the island's past. Try as we might, we aren't going to be able to destroy nature...it is just whether we will still be around when it decides to take it's planet back.

I have added Corregidor pictures to my album. Check em out (link).

Bulls-Eye

2008-01-15T04:24:00.000+02:00

Visiting the world’s largest anything can be pretty hit and miss. The world’s largest tree…hit. The world’s largest scissors…miss. The world’s largest island within a lake on an island within a lake on an island…bulls-eye. (it actually looks like a bulls-eye if you think about it...cue bad pun moaning)

Tom, Anshul, and I went to Taal Volcano over the weekend (link). Taal volcano sits in Lake Taal, which is actually a huge crater turned lake from an eruption several thousand years ago. The crater in Taal Volcano has turned into a lake as well, and in that lake a small island has formed called Vulcan Point. So, it is the world's largest island (Vulcan Point) within a lake (Crater Lake) on an island (Volcano Island) within a lake (Lake Taal) on an island (Luzon)....and it is beautiful.

Tagaytay (the city on Lake Taal) (link) is about an hour and a half south of Manila, and Manila is about 3 and a half hours from Balanga. We were going to take the ferry from Orion to Manila and hire a driver there, but last minute we found out that the ferry had just went out of business, so we had to change our plans. Instead, one of our drivers made the trip with us...Joel, the one with no front teeth and horrible English, but is always friendly, in a good mood, and cracks up at our jokes even though he has no idea what we are saying. We couldn't have made a better choice.

We left really early Saturday, dropped off a crew member and his family in Manila on the way, got semi-lost in Manila, and go to Tagaytay around 1. Unfortunately, it was pouring out and thick fog was covering everything. We got to the edge of the crater to look over Lake Taal, and couldn't even tell it was a lake. (My conversation with Joel while trying to find the lake: "Where is the lake?" "Lake??" "The lake with the volcano" "Lake??" "Lake...with water and an island..lake" "Lake??" "Yes, lake. Water. Small ocean. Water with a volcano inside. Lake, friggin lake" "Lake??"...then we dead-ended into the lake, Joel points in front of him "Lake Taal"...I guess the lake part in front of Lake Taal wasn't quite clear enough). So, we checked into a hotel, drove around the city which was about three blocks, and the laid around hoping the rain would stop. It never did, but I did get another $15 hour massage at the hotel (which I am getting addicted to) and we found a great Greek restaurant for dinner (wine for the first time in a few months was amazing) and a bar with a pool table and a live Filipino girl band. A couple hours in Joel started playing with us and dominated.

Sunday we got up and it was a perfect day. This is the view that I woke up to from our hotel room's balcony. Sometimes I love my job... Our first destination was 'Peoples Park in the Sky', which was once 'Palace in the Sky' when Ferdinand Marcos was president/dictator(link). After the People Power Revolution (link) it was renamed 'Peoples Park in the Sky' and was opened as the best spot to see Lake Taal and Taal Volcano.

Once we got to Peoples Park, I was even more enthralled with the old palace than the view (though amazing). The once lush palace is now a stripped, plundered, shell of a building. The roof was torn off, sheet metal banged in the wind, and though one broken window you could see a shower of water pouring through the room from some unseen broken pipe. The contrast with the natural beauty was sad but beautiful. It was an almost post-apocalyptic scene, with what was obviously once an elaborate building stripped naked in full view of the watching and ancient volcano. (new pictures posted)

After Peoples Park, we went down through a maze of switchbacks to the edge of the lake to catch a boat to the volcano. We found a boat and driver, went to the 'resort' that they left from, and buzzed over to the volcano. (I use 'resort' very loosely...for it is the first resort I have seen with community bathrooms, a large cow tied up right outside and roosters being breed for cock fighting out back) Once on Volcano Island you can either take a horse to the top of the crater or walk...and there was no way Tom or I were going to spend five whole dollars on a horse when we have both have two very capable legs. I don't think Anshul was quite as excited about the fairly steep hike, but he sucked it up and hiked too...though I don't think he would do it again. The hardest part of the hike was that the horse trail and the hiking trail were one in the same...and the locals actually had motivation for the hike to be as unpleasant as possible (so you would pay for a horse). Everybody was very nice, but the trail was pretty much solid horse crap and you were always trying to avoid getting bowled over by a large animal. It did make it interesting, and I would definitely walk again if I had the chance.

Once at the top you get to a railing and can see down in the crater of Taal Volcano and into Crater Lake and Vulcan Point. Again, beautiful view, blah, blah, blah. I'm not a good enough writer to describe it, and pictures do a much better job (though still don't come close to doing is justice). Among the things I was tried to be sold at the top included: fake money, fresh coconuts with the top chopped off and a straw inside to the milk, and the opportunity to shoot an assault rifle off the edge at some water bottles a bit into the crater. All tempting propositions, but I declined all three. Very good time overall.

Sometimes I love this job....

(New Pictures)

Tom's Update

2008-01-02T07:52:00.000+02:00

Tom (coworker and good friend) just posted some pictures from here. Links below (with interesting descriptions for the photos...he is as sarcastic as I am...which is why we get along so well)

Christmas

Manila

Here is one of my favorite pictures (click on it to make it load in a bigger size). It explains the history of what I think is the most unlucky church on earth. The construction time was almost longer than it was open for the first 100 years it was around. It also reminded me of a 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' scene that can be seen on YouTube (link)... Monty Python and the Holy Grail will always remind me of Kristin and home, and it is really nice to have little reminders of home all around the world...even if it takes a church being destroyed by a typhoon and fire the year after it opened.

Tower of Power

2008-01-01T04:09:00.000+02:00

Some of you know what I do at work (people I work with) and most of you listen when I try to explain but still have no idea (everybody else). This is a work type story, but will hopefully give you a better idea of what part of my job is. I will use pictures as much as possible.

First, I work in refineries. They are the big things that they always show on CNN when they talk about global warming (though the white plume they show coming out of stacks on tv is steam, which is much less harmful than the CO2 or NOx or SOx that come out of the heater stacks but don't have any color...but who wants to see a clip of a stack if you can't tell it has stuff pumping out of it. Artistic license I guess). The stacks are for giant heaters that are needed to heat up the oil/deisel/gasoline so that they are hot enough to undergo the reactions needed to turn nasty stuff into clean(er) and usable diesel, gasoline, propane, and other stuff. The company I work for (UOP) designs the huge systems (heaters, reactors, distillation columns) needed to do all of the refining. When I am on the road (like now) one of my main jobs is checkout. For checkout we have to make sure that the construction company built the unit like we designed. To do that we have to follow every pipe in the unit, we check all of the instruments and control valves, and we climb inside everything to make sure the internals were built correctly. Last week I did the internals check on by far the biggest distillation tower I have ever been in...about 25 stories tall.

First off, a distillation tower is basically a really tall tube with a bunch of plates inside that when used correctly separate two chemicals from each other. A and B go in, and A comes out the top and B comes out the bottom. When I inspect, I have to go from the bottom and climb up through all of these plates (or trays, as they are called) and measure each one to make sure that they were built and installed correctly. There are manways in the middle of all of the plates so that you can get thorough the tower. (The picture below is what it looks like inside the tower. The holes are the manways and the holes are in the trays. It is dark. It is usually dirty...and in the one I inspected there are 170 of these. Close to the top it is like looking down a 25 story elevator shaft. I stand with one hole at my waist, one hole around my chest, and my feet on opposite sides of the hole below. Luckily the openings aren't big enough for you to fall more than a tray or two.) Unfortunately, the manways are usually sized for small Asian men, so lumbering American men like myself have a tougher time fitting through these things. I have had to go through a tower which had 12" by 15" rectangular manways. That is about the size of two sheets of paper sitting next to each other. My body was not made to fit in spaces that small....but little things like paychecks have a way of convincing you to make it work. So, to sum it up, at times my job is to shimmy my way through tiny manways up inside a pitch black tube that is 25 stories tall and 8 feet in diameter.

When I was done I popped out of the top manway to an amazing view. The refinery is on the coast, but this being the Philippines, the mountains are never far away. This tower is the largest structure in the area so my view was unobstructed and beautiful. Then I looked down at the other units in the refinery...and noticed that I was a solid five stories higher than anything else...including lots of heater stacks that are painted red and white so that they don't get hit by a passing airplane.

Suddenly it started to get windy, the sky turned black, and it started storming hard. On top of a twenty five story tower that is the tallest metal object within several square miles is not the ideal place to be hanging out during a rain storm. However, climbing down 25 stories of external ladders (see left for the type of ladders I get to go up and down) in a rain storm is not ideal either...but I figured that the ladders would be wet for a while anyways, so I might as well climb down during the storm (instead of hiding inside the top of the column and seeing what happens when you get hit by lightning while actually sitting inside the lightning rod). I made it down safe (always do, mom), walked back to the office, changed, and then played basketball for over two hours...solid day all around.

Happy New Year

2008-01-01T03:19:00.000+02:00

Happy New Year everyone. It was a pretty calm NYE here in Balanga. The refinery (Petron) invited us to a party at their housing complex which was nice of them, but we went to the Christmas party and Tom and I figured that we would have a little more fun in Balanga. The plan was to get dinner, go to the pool hall, and then to the bar/club in town. We tried to go eat at a really tasty 'various grilled meats' place, but it was closed...along with almost everything else in town. Even the golden arches were an unlit yellow. Luckily the local pizza place was open (everybody worldwide loves pizza delivery) and we got some grub.

After dinner we headed over to our main hangout, El Magicero. It is a pool hall dive with about 10 tables in various states of repair, two competing videoke machines in opposite corners, two walls open to the outside, a line of off-brand video games in back, and one of the nastiest bathrooms I have ever seen/smelled. We go there at least three times a week, and for some odd reason most locals think it is rough place...I think that we have different ideas of sketchy bars. The fact that there aren't any rednecks here makes it about 20 times safer than most of the bars I went to in Houston.

(A blurry picture of nothing in particular at Magicero...the only one I could find)

We played a bunch of pool, drank a few drinks, and decided that hanging out with our friends that work at Magicero was better than going to the club (plus we were both still exhausted from the weekend in Manila). It also turns out that in the Philippines they celebrate midnight by lighting off LOADS of fireworks...and not some big city sponsored show. Pretty much every household in the city bought piles of fireworks, so as the night progressed it started to sound more and more like the area probably did in 1942. Around 11:45 we stopped playing pool and just enjoyed the random show outside. For a little while it looked like a 'who can blow their hand off first' contest, but I think everybody survived unscathed and it was pretty cool to see/hear everybody celebrating. At midnight we ate some Pancit noodles as is local tradition (I guess), finished our pool series, and ended up taking off around 1:30. Definitely the most sober I have been on NYE in several years, but very cool overall.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-24T19:28:00.000+02:00

Merry Christmas to everyone. No big plans here...I'm working on Christmas Eve, going to our driver's house on Christmas Eve evening for dinner and fun, and taking it easy on Christmas Day. The pool hall will be open, and since it is the closest thing to family Tom and I have here we'll probably go there for a bit.

My gifts to you are a couple of YouTube videos made by the brother of a guy from work. I work with a lot of Indian guys, so these are extra funny to me....especially the second one.

Varm It

Sandy Beaches

Rasheed Wa Wa Wa Wallace

2007-12-21T10:12:00.000+02:00

Best Christmas song of the year....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKqFg7Tuocg&eurl

Sleepin With the Fishes

2007-12-17T02:26:00.000+02:00

It is Saturday, December 15th, three quarters of the crew has to work, and I was lazy and didn't make weekend plans for the 3rd straight week....so what do I have to fall back on?? How about a weekend of laying on a white sand beach, snorkeling over a coral reef while looking at at fish that Shed Aquarium would be jealous of, getting an hour massage for $20, and then doing 4 wreck dives in crystal clear water with 45' visibility.....I can hear Kristin screaming in jealousy.

To elaborate, one of the crew members is Indian and a vegetarian...and Subic Bay (about an hour away) has an Indian restaurant with good vegetarian food. So, every weekend he goes to eat a tasty meal and stock up on takeout for the week. I woke up Saturday morning on the fence about joining him for a couple of hours on the trip. Then, I got a text from another crew member saying that she was spending the night there and the driver was picking her up Sunday afternoon.....and things started to fall into place.

I have wanted to dive in Subic Bay since I got here. It turns out that Subic Bay was a major port/base during WWII...which means lots of WWII wrecks (link). So, when I got a chance to spend a full day diving I jumped on it.

I showed up to the dive shop Sunday morning to be greeted by some friendly Filipino guys and eight Korean divers. Turns out I am tagging along with a group of Koreans that have been in Subic for a couple of months and have been diving multiple days a week the whole time...and if you didn't know, I got my certification a few months ago in Texas and have never dived anywhere besides a muddy lake outside Houston. So, you could say that I was the least experienced of the group. These guys dove more in the last day than I had in my life....no biggie. They also greet me with "So, you have dove Nitrox, right???" As you can guess, since I didn't know what Nitrox was, the answer was no. Turns out that Nitrox is enriched air (32% oxygen compared to the normal 21%). You need a certification to fill it. You need a certification to dive it. But, to get your certification, you have to dive it with a dive master. Luckily, my dive buddy for the day is the leader of the dive and the dive master. Problem solved.

Next question, "You have done deep water, right??" Again, you can probably guess my answer, since the murky lake outside Houston was about 30' deep. I didn't have a shovel at the time, so up until today that was my "record dive". To dive deep water you need to have Nitrox. Check. To dive deep water you have to have a certification. Boo. But, to get the certification you need to dive deep water with a dive master. Double check.

Third question, "Have you done wreck penetration??" You get the idea....as above, diving with a dive master solves all problems. So, to sum it up, I am doing my first real non-crappy lake dive and I am doing a deep water Nitrox wreck dive with penetration. I was a little nervous. I sucked down about half my air bottle the first 5 minutes of the first dive....but then I relaxed, felt comfortable, and had a blast.

Wrecks I dived:
El Capitan, LST, Japaneese Patrol Boat, LCU Landing Vessel (link)

LST was first and I went as deep at 35 meters (115'). That is deep. If I was using regular air (not Nitrox) I would have been able to safely stay down for only 18 minutes, but with Nitrox I was down for 35 minutes, saw a HUGE sea turtle (I thought it was another driver at first), several stingrays, loads of fish, swam through the cargo bay of a sunken WWII boat, and had a heck of a time.

I won't go into details of the other dives (more coral, more fish, more stingrays, more swimming inside sunken ships, more fun).

Oh, did I mention that it is December 16th?? I have to give up a decent amount for this job, but some days I remember why I chose it (and am damn happy that I did).....and this weekend was one of them.

Tasty

2007-12-08T19:30:00.000+02:00

Today we saw a movie in Manila. Unfortunately they wouldn't let me bring in my fried chicken and gravy.

He who smelt it delt it...with an assult rifle

2007-12-06T14:40:00.000+02:00

I think my mom was a little worried when there was a bombing and a coup attempt in Manila in a span of three weeks. But then I need to remind her that I was preciously in Texas for 5 months...where I once had a 30 minute conversation with a refinery worker about the best way to modify an AR-15 to fully automatic and why 3-round burst is the best setting for killing loud cats. And only in the US will you find headlines like this....

"Man Fires Rifle at Group After Mockery for Passing Gas" (link)

or

"When Transvestites Attack" (link)

The transvestites here are much more friendly than the ones in Micky-Ds. There are by far more trannys here than anyplace I have ever been...and Jen lives in Boystown. I'm not sure if it is more accepted or if it is a backlash against the very Catholic culture or what, but definitely makes you look twice before pointing out a good looking girl. Tom, Javier, and I have all make the mistake of pointing out a girl from behind that happens to have a little surprise when we see the front. We were in a pool hall a few days ago and a group of four transvestites walked in and started to sing karaoke for a little bit. Nobody looked twice. Not many pool halls in the US where you would see that.

To finish off, here is a blurry picture of Javier on stage at a local bar being questioned by a tranny with a microphone for 15 minutes in front of a packed house. I was sitting with a couple locals that I had met, and they translated part of it for me. Since grandma might read this I will not give you the details of the questions, but you can use your imagination. An interesting night all around.

Damn Jack

2007-12-02T12:34:00.000+02:00

When I was young(er), whenever we went to my Grandma and Grandpa Koenigsknecht's house the adults would play a German card game called 'setback'. The game is similar to Euchre, but instead of trying to get all the tricks, you had to get as many of the five possible points as you could get. You got a point for having the highest trump, lowest trump, either of the two jacks of trump, and the most cards of trump. One day the adults were playing cards in the dining room and one of my parents came into the living room to check on me. I was sitting on the floor with a deck of cards and flipping them over one by one. At my age I had only said a couple of words, so they were surprised to fine me saying something every time I turned over the card....and what was I saying?? "DAMN JACK"....the most common saying during setback (besides Grandma throwing out the occasional 'scheisse'). Today I made the same mistake as my parents.

Tom, Javier, and I played some basketball in town today. After shooting around for a while we convinced some Filipino guys to stop watching us shoot and to play some games. We played a game of two-on-two, rested for a while, and then played a few games of three-on-three on the other side of the court. In the second game I was posting up Javier, made a move, and proceeded to blow a layup. I then said my most common saying in basketball..."Oh Shit".

The next possession I posted Javier up again. While trying to get position I heard the little Filipino boy behind the basket repeating in very clear English "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit". He had no idea what he was saying, but he said it for a while and then left. I really hope he has stopped by now....and that his parents don't speak English.

Hot

2007-12-01T04:25:00.000+02:00

Always makes me smile....

RSS Feed

2007-11-30T05:22:00.000+02:00

Dear Mom (and anybody else that used IGoogle as their homepage),
The following are directions to have my blog added to your IGoogle page. I will spell it out in great detail since last time I gave you computer directions you managed to BLOW UP my old computer. I honestly didn't think that was possible.

1.) Go to my blog page (that would be here)
2.) Scroll to the bottom of the page (using that nifty wheel in the middle of the mouse if you desire)
3.) Click on 'Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)' (the blue part)
4.) On the next page, go the dropdown box and select 'Google' and click 'Subscribe Now'
5.) On the next page, click 'Add to Google homepage' (you might need to sign in)
6.) On the upper left of your IGoogle page will be a box with the heading 'Temporary ID'
7.) Put your cursor over the blue rectangle on the top of the box and click to drag the box to the middle of your screen.
8.) You (mom) no longer have to have my blog as your homepage (you can still see CNN and the Onion and all of those other great headlines...current favorite Onion headline 'Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On')
9.) Go back to bed because you are retired and it is cold out

Manila Coup Attempt

2007-11-29T13:20:00.001+02:00

The units at work are a little ways away from our office, so we have a driver that drives us to the units and back during the day. This morning around 11am one of the crew came back with some news...on the ride back to the office they were listening to the radio and they cut to a live announcement that a Senator, a General, and about 30 soldiers had took over the nicest hotel in Manila and were calling for a coup d'etat (link). Basically the general and the senator were on trial for tying a similar thing a couple of years ago, didn't like what was going on, left somehow, and then went to the hotel. I'm not sure if the guards joined them or just let them go, but it looks like it was pretty peaceful and no shots were fired. They let the guests go and were then surrounded by the police and military.

We went to lunch, and the tv in the cafeteria had the news on live, but the people in the cafeteria didn't seem terribly interested in what was going on. Before long the channel was changed to the usual lunch programing....some crazy show were people do a odd dance to the excited cheers of the crowd. We have no idea what the show is about, but it makes us laugh anytime. If the people in the cafeteria wanted to watch the same dance that they see every day over an attempted coup they must have known that it wasn't going to go anywhere. I guess when you have a situation like this around 7 times in the last 18 years people get used to it.

On the ride home our driver Joel had the live feed on the radio. The whole thing was in Tagalog of course, but the occasional sentence or two in English was thrown in, so I had a general idea what was going on. Suddenly they cut to a guy who was very excited and out of breath...the militarily had just charged the hotel, shot the door in, and launched in a bunch of tear gas. It doesn't look like anybody was seriously hurt (I don't count your lungs hurting after being teargassed as an injury) and both sides reiterated that they were not going to risk any civilians being hurt in any way. The people got arrested, a bunch of journalists got arrested (supposedly to ask questions to make sure none of the rogue soldiers changed clothes to avoid arrest), and thats about it. Looks like this was much more for media attention than an actual rebellion....the guys will be in a bit of trouble, though.

Honestly, the main thing I thought was "crap, we were going to go to Manila this weekend", but with it all over and nothing crazy happening I think the trip is still on...I think we will avoid the Manila Peninsula hotel, though.

Shrine of Valor

2007-11-29T02:16:00.000+02:00

After a few emails scolding me for not posting for a few days (some more persuasive than others) I figured I would write one. My internet has been pretty bad at the hotel, and I have been very busy at work, so my posting abilities have been a little limited. However, the common sense side of me came out and realized I could just write in Word at home and post it at work....so that is what I will be doing until the hotel gets their internet act together.

Last Sunday Tom, Javier, Anshul, and I went to Mt. Samat (link), about 30 minutes outside of Balanga. It is the location of the most intense WWII battle in the Philippines, and resulted in the surrender of 78,000 American and Filipino soldiers to the Japanese. This led to the infamous Bataan Death March (link). To commemorate the Filipino and American soldiers that died during the march and the rest of the battles in the Philippines, a giant cross was built on the top of Mt. Samat. You can see the cross from a large part of Bataan, and was one of the first things I noticed when I got here.

We all wanted to go to the shrine over the weekend, but we had been getting warning emails all week about an incoming Typhoon from our travel safety service. We figured that we would figure it out at the time (pretty much my moto for life) and on Sunday it was sunny and 80. We called our driver Joel, and set off for the mountain. About 3/4 up the wonderful 'hairpin in a old van with a driver with no front teeth' drive it started to rain...and to blow....and branches started to fall of trees. I was a little worried that we would be famous for being the jackasses that decided to drive into the mountains before a Typhoon and got covered in a mudslide, but you can't get hit by a mudslide if you are at the top of a mountain, so we kept on going up. There wasn't much rain at the top (just a cool mist) but the wind was whipping around like mad, and combined with the mist made a surreal swirling cloud atmosphere.

We walked around a little bit, and at 1 the elevator opened up for the viewing area...the arms of the cross have windows all the way to the end, and you can hang out up there and take in the scenery. We paid our 10 pesos (20cents) and went on up. We got to the top and looking out the windows all we could see was blinding white light...the mist in the sun. Soon the wind picked up again and started to push the clouds up over the cross. We opened up the fogged windows (imagine doing that in the states) and took in the warm, moist blasting wind in our faces as we looked over the greenest landscape I have ever seen. The green jungle of the mountain transitioned into the hilly areas of the rice patties and then to the flat start of the shore. Off in the distance we could even make out the refinery we work at and the faint light of the always burning flare.

My favorite part? The swirling mist? The beautiful view? The fresh air blasting my face? Joel peeing in the bushes 10' away from an actual bathroom? Nope....it was the Filipino guard at the top. He looked like your normal 'try to look hard with aviators, fatigues tucked into boots, and shaved head' while guarding tourists from doing who knows what while 200' off the ground in a small room. That is until you looked at his holster. First off, this isn't like some European countries where the cops carry pepper spray and an air-horn to protect the local population. The cops and security guards carry guns and the occasional M-16. So what could the guard possibly be carrying that would make me so interested? Holstered like any handgun was an amazingly awesome set of nunchuks. Thats right, Michaelangelo was protecting the shrine commemorating the fierceness and resolve of the local Filipino people with nunchucks. I was really hoping Napoleon Dynamite would show up with a bowstaff and they could have a battle royale.

(pics added)

Game Time

2007-11-24T13:01:00.000+02:00

My first morning in the Philippines a couple of weeks ago I got up and went to breakfast in my hotel. The little café had a small TV in the corner that was advertising ‘Hapee Toothpaste’. I sat down, ordered whatever they recommended, got a cup of coffee, and tried to start and soak in some Filipino life. Suddenly, I heard the classic voice of Marv Albert over the crows of the roosters. In front of me, live on tv, is TNT Thursday night NBA basketball. Since then I have found that the NBA is as integral a part of Filipino culture as motorcycles with side cars, being extremely friendly, and loving amazingly bad karaoke.

Tom and I both like to play ball, so we soon set out to find a court. Luckily for us there are three courts within walking distance. They are all covered with large aluminum roofs and seem to be the best lit areas in the whole city. The courts are the playground, meeting place, and hangout for a large chunk of the younger locals. These guys can play some ball, too. They all play barefoot or with sandals because most don’t have shoes, but they can shoot and finish shots extremely well. I just wish I played with some of these kids back in the day. Today we ventured in to try and play a game…

When Tom and I found the courts for the first time it was early evening and fairly dark out. We found the courts, watched for a little bit, and stayed relatively incognito. Today, however, was a completely different story.

It seems that two white guys caring a basketball is a sight to see….especially when one of them is 6’3”. We walked up to the court and the local little kids lost it. There was a full-court pickup game going on, and we shot around when the action was on the other side. Soon there was a large crowd ohh-ing and ahh-ing at shots….and laughing at the occasional airball. Some of the kids our age started shooting around with us and we found three other guys to run the next game with. At one point Tom shot a ball that got wedged between the rim and the backboard. I jumped up and knocked it out. I looked down, and the little kids were looking up like I was a giant. When I was off to the side they were even surrounding me and trying to jump high enough to see over the top of my head. Tom was soon known by the locals as ‘Steve Nash’ and I think they were calling me whatever in Tagalong means “huge white guy that bricks jumpshots”.

By the time we were up to play a game, a sizable crowd had gathered. We ran up and down a couple of times, and on their third possession they had a fast break against me. The dude came up, crossed over, and put up a leaning layup….that I sent halfway across the court. The place erupted. Tom pretty much ran the show, my out of shape ass stayed back and played defense and rebounded, and the other three guys got dishes and layups. We won.

After the game we took a seat and were surrounded by a flock of little kids. We dished out some hi-fives, told them our names, and mainly just got spoken to in Tagalog. In the back of the group was a tall girl that was about 11 and seemed to be the oldest of the bunch (and an older sister to at least one of the fellas). Every time I looked over she would look away embarrassed and was rolling her eyes whenever one of the kids would talk to me (I guess the eye roll is in all 11 year old girls’ genes). One little guy poked my leg and told me to ask the girls name. You could say that she was not too happy with the kid. She proceeded to chase him in what had to be an embarrassed older sister’s rage. She came back and I asked her name…..us little brothers have to stick together.

(more pics in the album)

KFT

2007-11-23T15:37:00.000+02:00

It is Thanksgiving, we are in the Philippines, and I haven't seen turkey since I have been here. So what to do?? Three words: Kentucky. Fried. Chicken. You know it....

Tom, Javier, and I even made the rule that using the word 'Chicken' instead of 'Turkey' while hangin' with the Colonel would be punished by having to sing karaoke...the song and location being the choice of the winners. I lasted around 2 minutes....all the gravy got me excited and I lost my concentration. I think living in Texas for 6 months had something to do with that.

Stare

2007-11-22T11:48:00.000+02:00

I think one of the oddest things that I've had to get used to so far is being constantly stared at. I was expecting the staring to a certain degree, but I had no idea that it would be this obvious. I mean, I understood when I was walking through town the first time that people would stare at the 6'3" white dude...but there is a difference between a medium stare and a 'stop what you are doing, stare, open your mouth, and do a full 180' when I walk by. I've gotten used to it in the last couple of weeks, but today I experienced the top stare down of my stay.

I walked into the cafeteria at the refinery this afternoon to get a couple bottles of water (I learned that the hard way). It was 3, so the place was empty except for 8 middle age guys sitting at a table. The current staring odds would suggest that 3-4 of the 8 would do an obvious stare as I walked in the door. However, I was greeted with an 8 person stare the moment I walked in....and it didn't stop. Eight people stared at my back as I ordered the waters. Eight people stared at my side as I walked to the cashier. Eight people stared at me as I walked back to the door and left. To sum it up, eight grown men stared at me for around 5 full minutes and I wasn't even missing pants. They were staring at me like.....

And that is they discussion Tom and I have been having...what can we compare this too in the US? Current possibilities:
-An amazingly hot woman
-Siamese twins
-A dude with a pet monkey

But I am standing by my original, and I think still most accurate, choice...we are like midgets.
-They aren't terribly rare and everybody has seen one
-If you see one you are going to elbow your buddy and point him out
-If you talk to one then you are definitely going to tell the story to the next friend you see
-Little kids think they are hilarious
-They can never find clothes that are the right size

It might not be a perfect comparison, though, because I doubt that a midget would get stared at by 5 grown men for as long as I was today.

Name

2007-11-21T05:47:00.000+02:00

First off, I guess I should explain the blog name. To start, everybody should know of my lack of creativity. I had two stuffed animals as a child....they were named 'Lion' and 'Bear'. Try to guess what kind of animals they were.

So, when I was thinking about a name for the blog I looked to my right. Sitting on my end table was my Temporary ID for work, and I figured that it pretty much summed up my current situation. I have no apartment, no car, no permanent address, no bills, and everything I own is stuffed into a 5'x5' storage unit or in the two duffels I travel with. I have to have a Visa to live where I live and a temporary ID to work where I work. So, I think the name fits....and unless you want me to name it 'Blog' it is as good as it is going to get.

Welcome

2007-11-21T05:24:00.000+02:00

Hi everybody (or maybe just Mom and Dad)...this is the first post of my new blog. I've never blogged before nor do I claim to be creative enough to make this blog at all witty and interesting. It is basically a way for me to communicate with everybody that I don't get to see nearly enough and a way for me to semi-journal my experiences while running around the world. I have no idea how often I will post to this or what it will end up looking like. A long post once a week?? A quick like or two every other day?? Who knows, and I'm sure it will change as I go along.

I will also be posting pictures of my travels on my Picasa website. The link is to the right and I will mention when I add pics to the albums. This is all a big experiment, so any comments and suggestions are more than welcome.

Ben